


Pain Isn’t Gain

by Wolfcry22



Series: The Exhausted Mind of Poe [6]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Muscle Pain, Nightmares, Pain, Poe Dameron Has PTSD, Poe Dameron Hurts So Prettily, Poe Dameron Is A Mess, Poe Dameron Needs A Hug, Poe Dameron Whump, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, tremors - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:26:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22857703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfcry22/pseuds/Wolfcry22
Summary: PTSD isn’t just a mental disease. It is physical and it causes real pain. Poe is in pain and Finn consoles him to the best of his ability in the only way that he knows how.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Finn
Series: The Exhausted Mind of Poe [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1605424
Comments: 4
Kudos: 73





	Pain Isn’t Gain

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve done quite a bit of research for PTSD for most of my Poe stories. I thought it was interesting to hear that many people who suffer with PTSD also have some sort of chronic pain to go along with it. I myself suffer from a painful chronic pain condition and I decided to write Poe to try and mirror that to the best of my ability.

Soft whimpers and cries awoke Finn one night. It only took a moment for him to realize that they were coming from the man laying in the bed beside him. Finn was used to Poe waking him up because of his cries, but these weren’t the usual cries that signaled a nightmare. They were much different. They were softer and sounded more like cries of physical pain than cries of terror from nightmares.

“Poe,” questioned Finn as he sat up and reached around to the Resistance General and rested a hand on his shoulder. “Poe, wake up for me, okay? Hey, wake up.”

Poe’s eyes fluttered open and a few stray tears rolled down his cheeks. He looked up to Finn fearfully. “F-Finn,” he asked with a slight sniffle.

“Yeah, yeah, it’s me.” Finn lifted his finger and gingerly wiped the tears away from Poe’s cheek. “It’s me. What’s going on? Is it a nightmare?”

Poe shook his head. “No.”

“Okay, then what’s going on,” Finn fretted as he longed to offer Poe as much comfort as he could, even though he wasn’t sure what was wrong. Sometimes it took a little while for Poe to be comfortable enough to tell him.

Poe let out a another whimper that sent claws of sympathy gripping at Finn’s heart. “H-Hurts,” he stammered painfully.

“What hurts,” questioned Finn as he started to run his fingers through Poe’s curly hair. If he had to guess he would think a headache. He could only assume how the nightmares could cause headaches as well as the racing thoughts. He started to work his fingers a little firmer against Poe’s head. 

Poe gulped heavily. “Everything.” He paused as he whimpered again. “My legs. It hurts right into the bone.” His eyes widened as tears continued to fall. “It fucking hurts.”

Finn lifted his hand from Poe’s thick hair before resting it on Poe’s forehead. He didn’t feel a fever, which would cause muscular pain, so that was only slightly reassuring. He still had no idea why Poe was in enough pain that it was moving him to tears.

“Okay. Let’s see if I can find anything for that,” reassured Finn as he gingerly stepped around Poe, careful not to step on him. He took a few steps toward the fresher when his foot collided with something and he fell harshly.

He groaned as he rolled onto his side to see a light shine into his eyes. He groaned as he pushed the light away to find that it was BB-8 hovering in front of him. “BB-8, what are you doing? Are you trying to get me to break something?”

BB-8 let out his characteristic flurry of beeps. Finn knew that he wanted to tell him something different and yet he couldn’t understand him. “You know I can’t understand you, right,” Finn grumbled as he got into his hands and knees before rising to his feet. “Poe can translate for us later, but this isn’t helping.” Finn headed toward the fresher and opened up one of the cabinets. He found some pills as well as a cream that would turn from hot to cold. Poe had massaged that into Finn’s back on numerous occasions from where Kylo Ren had cut him with his lightsaber. If anything could be massaged into Poe’s muscles to make him feel better, this would be it.

Finn grabbed those two things as well as a bottle of water before heading out of the fresher. He brought it over to their nightstand and flicked on the light. With the slight glow Finn could see Poe withering in pain with his face twisted. He shifted between his side and back as his back arched and his legs tensed involuntarily. His fingers grasped at the sheets with a few strangles sounds forced their way from Poe’s mouth.

“Poe, I need you to take this for me,” Finn instructed as he tried to show Poe the tiny white pill he had between his pointer finger and thumb. Poe seemed to be in too much pain to show much interest. Finn didn’t take it personally as he grabbed the bottle of water and sat beside Poe. He grasped his shoulders and tried to haul him into a sitting position. “Okay, we’re going to work through this together. Just take this.”

Poe painfully opened his nearly locked jaw so that Finn could place the tiny pill on his tongue. Finn then lifted the bottle of water to Poe’s lips. Poe gulped down the water ravenously before pulling it from Poe’s lips. “Not too fast or you’re going to be sick,” chided Finn as he set the water aside.

Poe didn’t seemed to hear him. “S-Still hurts,” he managed to stammer as a few more tears rolled down his cheeks from his eyes.

Finn sighed as he came over to sit beside Poe’s legs. He had the bottle of cream in one hand while he rested a hand gingerly on each one of Poe’s shins. “I know, but we are going to do the best that we can. Do you remember when I woke up screaming because of my spine?”

“I remember,” Poe croaked.

Finn offered a genuine smile. “And do you remember what you used to do for me to help? Huh? How you used to massage this stuff into my painful muscles? I’m going to do the same to you and see if that’ll help.” It would’ve been better if Finn could find out why Poe’s muscles were causing him so much pain, but that could wait for a later date.

Poe managed a tiny nod. He was no longer thrashing even though he still seemed to be in pain. That told Finn that they could work through this, or at least try to. 

Finn gingerly grasped one of Poe’s legs and lifted it slowly. He rested his ankle on Finn’s shoulder before unscrewing the bottle of cream and squirting some on his hands. He set the lotion aside for later loose. He rubbed his hands together as he let out a heavy breath. “Okay, my hands are going to be cold.” Finn rested both of his large hands against either side of Poe’s calf slowly.

Poe shuddered at the cold of Finn’s hands, but he managed not to jerk his leg aside. Finn took that as a good sign as he started to work his fingers with the cream into Poe’s painful leg. He moved the muscle with his palms while his fingers felt the bone. Finn could feel the cream going from cool to warm when it absorbed into Poe’s skin. Finn moved down to Poe’s thigh and then back to his calf and even to the top of his foot.

Only when he felt Poe’s leg go completely limp did Finn move on to his other leg. He found more a rhythm with Poe’s second leg as he worked even more of the cream into Poe’s leg. He let his mind wander and try to relax while slightly humming. He wasn’t sure where he had heard the song that he was humming, but he was sure that Poe had been the first one to start it. After all, Poe was always humming and singing when he was in a good mood. It always served to lift Finn’s spirits and he hoped that his own humming would do the same for Poe.

It didn’t take long until he looked up and noticed that Poe’s head had lulled to the side. His head suddenly snapped up before falling back to the side. That was the biggest compliment that Finn could get that Poe was comfortable enough to fall asleep when he had been in such pain.

Not wanting to disturb him, Finn gingerly lifted Poe’s ankle from his shoulder and lowered it down on the bed. Finn stood and picked up the cream. He set the cream on the nightstand before walking back to Poe’s side. He brought up the sheet over Poe’s legs and was pleased that they were no longer twitching.

“Thank force,” breathed Finn. If Poe was asleep then it meant that the cream and his massage had done their thing. All he needed was for him to be able to stay asleep and not be woken up by the pain.

Just when Finn was about to step into bed, he felt the force of something against him. He sighed as he looked down expectantly to see BB-8 right there again. “BB-8, I told you that I would talk to you later. I can’t understand you.”

BB-8 tipped his head up to the nightstand where Finn’s PADD was charging. Finn immediately got what BB-8 was trying to tell him. He grasped the PADD and placed it in front of BB-8. The little droid plugged into the PADD as if downloading some information. He drew back and let out a low beep so not to wake up Poe.

Finn turned the PADD around and saw the information that BB-8 had brought up and started to read it.

Those that possess psychological trauma characterized by flashbacks and nightmares can also experience distinct physical pain. It can be considered muscular pain and even extend into the bone. It is real pain and not a trick of the mind. Gentle exercises and deep massage can bring symptoms of relief.

Finn glanced down to BB-8 with the PADD almost falling from his fingers. “I guess this disorder isn’t just a mental one anyone, is it, buddy?” His head hung as he thought of all that had been taken from Poe. It just wasn’t fair.

BB-8 rolled forward and pressed his dome against Finn’s forehead. Finn laughed softly as he lifted his hand and patted BB-8’s side. “Thanks, BB-8. We’ll get through it. We always do,” he pointed out as he straightened and headed back to the bed.

He stepped delicately over Poe and settled down as softly as possible so not to disturb him. He then lowered on his side and glanced at Finn as he breathed softly in his sleep. He watched him for as long as he could, enjoying him looking so peaceful, before drifting off into sleep of his own.

**Author's Note:**

> This was a personal story to write since I have been where Poe is when dealing with extreme pain. It was very therapeutic for me to write and certainly fulfilled a dream I had that a character could feel what I feel.


End file.
